I've been mostly off line since late December trying to move my files, address books and finally website from my old PC to my new computer, a shiny new MacBook Pro laptop. These past weeks have provided several insights.
1. If you are going to make a big change, then you have to be willing to risk chaos. So many times I was using a new program or trying to transfer data and I got to the point if I hit the next button, something big was going to happen. Either it would work or my files would disappear into cyber space. Each time my stomach would give that "uh oh" feeling and I had to decide whether to go ahead or not. It became a metaphor for life, the excitement of creating. You don't know how something is going to turn out until you do it. All you know is that what ever happens you'll deal with it and keep moving toward what you want.
2. Not liking the answer doesn't make it less true. My intuition is pretty reliable. But sometimes I just don't want to know. I decided to try and sync my Palm with my Mac calendar which is prettier than the Palm calendar. I got a clear sense (a different quieter voice than my "uh oh" fear response) that the directions provided wouldn't work. Knowing I was about to leave for a meeting, it seemed prudent to wait. BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO! So I chose to ignore that input thank you very much.
I got to the "click here to disable your conduits" moment and that intuitive voice said, "DON'T DO IT!" but I pushed on. Well it didn't work and my calendar would no longer sync. I couldn't find the file where the disabled conduits were supposedly stored. I had to leave for my meeting wondering if I'd ever get back to where I'd started. [Note: I did get it restored to the original set-up but I would have saved myself a lot of stress if I had listened and waited.] A corollary insight: there is a difference between the excitement of not knowing and the stress of doing something stupid.
3. I'm a Mac kind of girl. The Mac is every bit as fun as I remembered it. I went PC because of my corporate work when Macs and PCs just weren't compatible. Somehow giving up the Mac was symbolic; it was changing to fit in, something I felt I had to do a lot of. Reclaiming the Mac also seems symbolic. It's reclaiming my fun side and it's about my ability to be in my own skin more comfortably.
I am close to being back on line so to speak. Check out my new website which I just figured out how to upload from my Mac <grin>.
Note: photo from linuxhotbox.com